(My allergies were bad last night, so I am going to share something Bruce wrote for Roxanne instead of getting too creative. This was the toast he gave at their wedding…)

Bruce’s Wedding Toast to Roxanne

Flowers are pink.
Flowers are green,
Your eyes are the prettiest
I’ve ever seen.

You stand by my side
Through thick and through thin
Including that time that
The zombies broke in.

The way that you hit
That one guy with a pan—
I knew then and there
That I was your man.

And when we moved to the hill
To that rickety house
My heart said “C’mon, you fool,
And make her your spouse.”

When you said yes,
My heart it did sing,
Though you got pretty mad
When I bought that earring.

‘Course, our adventures—
They were not done yet.
We flew off to Ireland,
And leprechauns met.

The wedding got closer
But there was a hitch—
That pretty young thing
Who became a real—witch.

But today is the day—
So what if it’s raining?
The clouds hide the sun,
So the vamps ain’t complaining.

Yes, today is our wedding,
And I wrote down this verse.
Roxanne—you’re my lady—
For better or worse.

(if you’d like to know what the hell he’s talking about, you need to check out Bruce and Roxanne from Start to Finnish from Yard Dog Press!)

And since I can’t get to any conventions at the moment to pass them out for free…if you would like one of Bruce’s certification bumper stickers, we will slide on the actual examination and send you one for $1 to cover postage and handling. This may be the last batch ever printed, as Bruce is tired of working so hard…so don’t miss out. Just use paypal.me/RieSheridanRose and be sure to include your address in the note section so I can ship out the sticker!